One Year Ago
November 9, 2014: One year ago today. I am frantically trying to balance my school schedule with the grad school application process. By squeezing in extra hours of practice during the day and staying up late to write application essays, I’ve slacked on sleep, and my body is making me well aware of that. As I sit down in front of the camera (my least favorite audience member) to make my prescreening recording, I can feel all kinds of self-doubt creeping in. Should I even bother applying? Should I even be trying to make a career of this? Several hours and several takes later, all I can do is pray that one of my runs of the Beethoven will be useable.
I call my parents and tell them how stressed I am and how much I hate having to press the “submit” button. “I can’t click it. Should I do another take? I should do another take.” They encourage me to follow through with this and refuse to hang up until I’ve pressed “submit”. I slowly drag my mouse over to the six-letter button, take a breath, and click it.
My stomach lurches. It’s out of my hands now.
November 9, 2015: Fast forward a year, and I get to start my day by playing in a Juilliard Orchestra rehearsal with Maestro Alan Gilbert. After that, I head to an incredible German Vocal Literature class, followed by a chamber music rehearsal and a meeting with a composer to discuss his piece that I’m premiering later this semester. Tonight, I get to go see one of my teachers perform in a new music concert with the New York Philharmonic at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Every time I call my parents and tell them how awesome my life is right now, I realize how lucky I am to be here.
And all because I pressed “submit”.