I am grateful that I am in a community with tremendous sources of different kinds of love. When I have felt lost, stressed, lonely, or confused, there are a number of options available to me to seek out depending on what I need. I have a wonderful mentor from the Juilliard mentoring program since my first year of training, I have at least two teachers in the Juilliard Drama faculty I can email to set up a meeting with if I wish to speak about anything with regards to the work or how I am doing as a person, I have a therapist from Juilliard Counselling services whom I see once a week and I have a core group of people from Group 48 whom I can pull aside to speak to about what’s going on with me.
Going regularly to a trained therapist was new to me but I decided to integrate those sessions in my graduate life journey as part of my commitment to myself to heal, grow and sort things out inside of me while I am in graduate school. I believe that I am in a different psychological, mental, emotional and spiritual place now than I had been in my first year. There weren’t all due to therapy of course, as I had been pulling different resources for healing. What therapy specifically helped me with was to give me a space to dump my emotional and mental baggage to a trained person in a place with no judgement and then to help me process them and figure out what these different “cards” point to in my vortex of self. Those sessions help me connect things or put puzzle pieces together. Sometimes, my conversations with my therapist also serve as affirmations to where I am now and assurances that in spite of some negative feelings that I express – I am already in a different space from where I have been and what I am going through is not necessarily a repeat of the past.
Therapy may not appeal to all people, and there are indeed many valid ways and resources to deal with our inner spaces. This has been a tremendous resource for me, sometimes I think that I would’ve avoided a lot of trouble in my early 20’s had I had access to this resource – but alas, no experience is wasted. This phase of my life has a lot to do with internal assimilation and integration, and therapy has been a crucial resource in facilitating those two things.
REGINA DE VERA