DEAR SECOND YEAR…
Dear “Second Year,”
You have been so tough on me. Like, really tough. You had me move out of the dorms and find an apartment for the first time in a foreign city. And just when I was getting the hang of cooking and domestic life you brought in the bed bugs. That was horrible and traumatic. Sleeping on an air mattress in a small living room surrounded by garbage bags filled with all my stuff for nearly three weeks was traumatic.
You brought forth my strongest acting habits, as well as the triggers that brought out aspects of myself that I didn’t like, most of which were present for my colleagues and teachers to see. You pierced through my illusions of what life in America would be like, what I thought my colleagues and teachers were as human beings, what I thought Juilliard as an institution was. When reality cuts through my strongest pre-conceptions and attachments, it can be very painful, and it was.
But then, as my “ideas” about my Self, my life, and my attachments crumbled, somehow a new force came through. And toward the end, as our last Studio Project (“Three Sisters” by Anton Chekhov, directed by Brian McManamon) concluded, my Divinity came through at last. Thank you for your gifts, no matter how painful. I walk onward with a new way of being.
REGINA DE VERA